Range Day

Well I spent the day at the Rifle Qualification Range today.

That was fun.

First of all, let me tell you what a dumbass I am.  When I got to Ft. Gordon last year, the Central Issue Facility (CIF) told me that I already had all of the equipment that I’m going to need; so they didn’t give me any.  Well, turns out that on numerous occasions I’ve needed a pistol belt.  So I decide that because I was going to the range today and the required uniform consisted of a Load Bearing Vest (LBV) I would go hit up CIF to pick up an LBV so that I wouldn’t be out of uniform. 

My keen situational awareness and superior intelligence once again comes through for me.

Either I must’ve been thinking about how much I would love to stay at the CIF all day and bask in the warm, glowing hospitality and compassion that the wonderful women who work there dish out or I thought that I had a pistol belt lurking somewhere at home .  Either way, I leave CIF with an LBV but without a pistol belt.  But hey, at least I have a helmet!


We had to meet up in the B Company motor pool at 0500 hrs this morning.  We rolled out at 0530 hrs.  The range didn’t go “hot” until around 0800 hrs.  My job on this range was as a Range Safety.  I got to stand out on the firing line all day while rotation after rotation of firers would file their way onto the line to fire.  If someone had a problem, I would signal the tower to pause momentarily while we remedied the problem.  On the zero range, the firers shot in sets of three.  Then we would walk down to the targets 25 meters away to see how they did.  If their shot group wasn’t within a prescribed standard, then adjustments would be made to their weapon and they would try again.  In order to move from the zero range to the qualifying range they had to “zero” or put 6 shots within a black silhouette.

The morning time wasn’t that bad.  It wasn’t that hot and there was a nice fog that moved in once the sun came up.  But when the fog burned away and the day dragged on, that’s when it became a pita to be out there on your feet all day.  Some of the firers did pretty well.  They would zero their weapons in a short amount of time and move out.  Others weren’t so lucky skillful.  At one point, one soldier came onto the firing line and immediately I knew this one was going to irritate the shit out of me.  She wouldn’t listen to me and she had to stop the entire firing line because I had to crawl into her fox hole to kill a spider.  Anyways, she gets maybe 5 shots off and at some point the tower instructs the firers to put their weapons on ‘safe’, drop their magazines and clear their weapons.  As soon as I go to check the other firers in my area, a shot rings out from her position.  Negligent Discharge.  Not good.

So, here I am playing the role of a safety on the range and this broad decides to stick her head up her enormous ass and pull off a negligent discharge.  Deciding to not think about my own safety, I rush to her postion, confiscate her weapon and apply the appropriate steps to secure the weapon from firing again.  Meanwhile, all of the other firers and safeties are gasping their breaths and frozen with fear as I heroically save the entire lot.

Alright, a little far fetched, I know.  But no shit, there I was…..and that shit really did happen.  I hope she gets the fullest of UCMJ action.  Dumbass.

Well, long story short, it takes me three damn times to qualify with a 30 out of a possible 40.  It’s not the best score I’ve ever gotten, but I’ll take it.  I’m so tired when I get home that I can barely stand up to make dinner.  I was so sweaty that my wife said I still stunk of BO even after I had taken a shower and applied deoderant.  Now that’s a hard day’s work!

I can’t wait until the next range.

  1. Mrs G
    September 10, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Good thing she didn’t shoot you, Mrs. G would of had to handle things..hehe. YOu always save the day honey.

    • spiceymchaggis
      September 10, 2009 at 12:15 am

      Yeah, you know me. Fearless and all.

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